Liz Crokin

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Liz Crokin is everyone’s favorite conspiracy theorist who is bad at both surfing and maintaining the finger count with which she was born. Being a professional loon, she is incredibly popular among right-wing individuals who have zero relationship with reality.

Personal Life

In September of 2012, Crokin was diagnosed with menigoencephalitis – this swelling of the brain is likely the reason for her obvious lack of any semblance of intelligence. Notably, this illness was brought on by her untreated genital herpes.

Conspiracy Theories

Liz Crokin believes, among other things, that 33% of the United States government is comprised of satanic members of an illuminati cult that eats the faces of babies and traffics them underground as sex slaves. Further, the deadly wildfires of 2018 in California were intentionally set to destroy evidence of Hollywood pedophilia, the Democrats and George Soros planned the Cesar Sayoc mail bombing attempts and, of course, Crokin’s freak surfing accident was the result of a witchy spell cast by Hillary Clinton. Oh, and don’t forget Pizzagate!