Liberty University

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Liberty University is a private Christian “research” university located in Lynchburg, Virginia. Its student population makes it the largest university of its kind in the world. The school is well known for its aversion to teaching actual science and its founder, Jerry Falwell (whose son, Jerry Falwell, Jr., is the current president of the university).


Liberty University was founded under the name Lynchburg Baptist College by Jerry Falwell in 1971.


In a 2015 speech, Jerry Falwell, Jr. expressed his thought it would be a great idea for the student body to collectively have concealed carry permits and firearms on campus. It is unclear if the motive for his comments were a desire for a mass end times suicide or just a precaution to “protect” Liberty’s totes wackadoo students from themselves. Maybe it’s just because American Evangelicals equate guns to Jesus.

The Liberty Way

As one might expect, Liberty University employs a number of restrictive policies to instill in its students some serious fear of eternal hellfire. The "Liberty Way" is the student handbook for the university and is full of fun little gems that rival the code of law in North Korea in rigidity. Below are some shining moments from this document intended to suck all the fun out of college:

Substance Use

"Liberty University prohibits the possession, use, manufacture, or distribution of alcoholic beverages, tobacco, nicotine, and illegal its students, whether this occurs on or off campus."

"For the protection of its students and community, the university conducts an on-going [sic] program of mandatory random drug testing. Students agree to the following:"

  • "To participate in and cooperate with the university's drug-testing program, which permits the testing of any student (hair, urine or blood as specified by the one administering the test), irrespective of the method by which that student was selected."

Dress Guidelines

"While the university recognizes that opinions vary considerably regarding appropriate dress, the university has established simple guidelines, which students are required to follow while on campus. Cleanliness, neatness, appropriateness, and modesty are the general guiding factors with regard to dress."

Men's Dress for Students: During classes, men must wear "shoes, long pants, and shirts." "Hats or hoods" are not allowed. After 4:30 pm on weekdays and during weekends, men are allowed to wear "loose-fitting, modest shorts" instead of long pants.

Women's Dress for Students During classes, women must wear "shoes and neat clothing, skirts/dresses (no shorter than two inches above the knee), pants (including capri/cropped pants), and jeans." No shorts allowed. If swimming on campus, women must wear a "modest one-piece suit".


Believing that industry ratings are "not reliable standards", Liberty is happy to step in. "Liberty University maintains a conservative standard in its approach to the arts and entertainment; therefore, the following guidelines for practical guidance purposes for students on campus have been implemented:"

  • No "media or entertainment that is offensive to Liberty's standards and"
  • "Movie content rated "X" and "NC-17" and video game content rated "A" are not permitted."
  • "Caution should be used in viewing movie content rated "R" and "PG-13" and video game content rated "M"."

Sexuality and Relationships

"Sexual relations outside of a biblically ordained marriage between a natural-born man and a natural-born woman are not permissible at Liberty University. In personal relationships, students are encouraged to know and abide by common-sense guidelines to avoid the appearance of impropriety. Activities outside of these standards and guidelines are violations of the Student Honor Code."

Commencement Speakers

Commencement speakers at Liberty University graduations include the following (unsurprisingly):


Former President and lady-groper, George H.W. Bush


Chuck Norris


Ben Stein


Glenn Beck


Mitt Romney


Bobby Jindal


Jeb Bush


Mel Gibson and Willie Robertson of Duck Dynasty


President of the United States, stable genius, and proud lady-groper, Donald Trump